Hi guys......

Well this last week was nuts. It rained until Friday! My shoes actually stayed dry, I think they are waterproof and if I remember right Dad sprayed them... .So it was hard to talk to people because no one was out on the road and no one was home for some reason.

Well we had a member girl come with us and she beat me in doing contacts in one day! She got 66 and I got 62. This is a little more than a normal number if you are really trying to do contacts in one day, you really only need 80 per week. Nayra is a 15-year old ward missionary so she could go with us. I told her I’d get her ice cream if she beat me.

I found out I really miss Conference. We got to see one session at a member’s house. His name is Milton and we used his daughter's laptop and heard the first session. Sometimes the branch president will get a bus for the members to go to the bigger city, but that didn’t happen.

Oh when I was talking to people I got a flat out no and when I asked why the lady told me.... I don’t know why you can’t visit me, just no. It was totally funky..... oh no pictures this week either..... the other lan house ( where we do internet) wasn’t open so we came here.

We usually go to Franca (the neighboring, larger city) because we have District Meeting that night, but this week we'll go on Wednesday and then have interviews on Thursday with the Mission President. (Then transfers are next week.)

My comp is still the same... I’ve tried to like him but now I’m to the point where the littlest thing bugs me..... he told our LZ that our numbers are down because of me! that I’m not doing anything! Which is a lie, I’m doing it all! The LZs came to do interviews and my comp went off and Elder Walker and I went off. Walker works so I wanted to get some work done and asked if we could do some contacts.... and that turned out to be good because the LZ asked Walker to “spy” on me to see if I was working or not, because my comp is notorious for being a fubeca and pretty much the crappiest missionary in my mission. So I totally saved myself from getting chewed out or getting burned as we call it......

Oh yeah next week I might not get to email you guys so don’t cry if I don’t it all depends on transfers... if I stay or leave or what...... so anywho I don’t remember much more.

Hooray for PIZZA DAY!!!!!

I am Elder Richardson and I am the Keymaster and master cartographer, I am a Legend, and I end mine epistle, Amen

P.S. I remember my first day in public school I was very scared of getting pummeled and sure enough I did at first recess I got pegged in the head by a big red ball it stung with my head hung back to class with a bloody nose and soon it was lunchtime...

Mom said I should ask how poor kids could get fed so I got a book of tickets and a schedule and it read:

Monday -- Hot dog
Tuesday -- Taco
Wednesday -- Hamburgers and Chocolate milk
Thursday -- Sloppy Joes and Doritos in a bag
Friday was PIZZA DAY the best day of the week!


(For those of you who don't know, this is from a song. . .)

Well hello my friends from the North.

I’m sorry but this week will be without pictures.

Essa semana foi boa (it was good this week), certeza, batizei 3 pessoas (certainly we baptized 3 people). Foi legal. (It was cool.) Então eu vi uma velha com uma barba! (Then I saw an old guy with a beard.) Vixi! (Geez!)

Ok English now. Well we baptized this week, named Danilo, a girl named Yasmim, and her brother Mateus. We have to take a bus to go to our other city Franca for District Meeting, and I have a buddy there so sometimes we do stuff.

Not much else, we didn’t do much.

Oh I was with Elder Walker and we ended up talking to an old lady who showed us an old closed down church. And then we passed by this super hot chick and the old lady put up her fists for some reason as if to fight the girl. Then we found out that it was like a “Check out what I have” to the girl. It was funny.

Oh and an old dude told me he wouldn’t buy yogurt because of one centavo! Crazy man.

I’m sorry there isn’t much to say this week. I’m sure I’ll have more this next week, this last one we just focused on our people to baptize.

Anywho, see ya!

I am Elder Richardson, the Legend, and I end mine epsitle, amen.

Remember I’m right here. In my heart? Actually in your arteries.

Well these last couple of weeks was nuts. My sidekick is a whiner and I told him off and said that we needed to work. He called for an emergency transfer because he can’t work in Votuporanga. But I got dragged into it and got ripped out too. (Ripped out of the city?)

So we are still together but in São Joaquim da Barra. Awesome city with awesome members. The members hate my comp. One lady who is key here will only talk to me.

Oh man one thing I saw this week was your stereotypical black dude who is a wannabe gangster and he has the hair, the clothes, chains, whatever and a FANNY PACK!

This last week was nuts, we left Votuporanga and came here and we had conference. And then we were getting to know the area, so it was fairly uneventful, but I like the new area.

Can you find Taylor???

I am still with my sidekick but for probably 3 more weeks. The key members here are going to tell our president that he can’t stay here.

I can’t think of much more, I love you guys.

I am Elder Richardson, the Legend, the Man, the One who used to wear a hat everyday, and I end mine epistle, amen

Hey everyone, how’s life? It’s looking a lot better here. You want a translation? Café Rio is coffee river.

Ok I saw something way cool a toucan flying, I didn’t get a picture though.....

We were sitting in the Rodoviaria (bus station) and I saw 2 dudes signing, I could understand a little but it’s so different.

Oh yeah I was talking with some other missionaries and someone said something funny and I was drinking water and I laughed and it came out my nose.

Here it’s different than other South American countries because we don’t have a siesta. On Saturdays in Votuporanga after 2 p.m. everything is closed. Oh yeah there is a myth or legend or superstition here that if you drink really, really cold water you will get the flu, I thought that was only when you go bowling?

Oh we have a bunch of missionaries from the Nordeste and Sul so we have a bunch of different slang and accents. It can get frustrating sometimes.

You know I think that’s about it, oh wait, I remembered no one here likes me, we try to teach people but they always say they don’t have time come back tomorrow and they aren’t home or something.

We went to the English school again, they love me there, I taught them a whole bunch of slang and how to actually say it. It was pretty cool. Oh I taught them some pick-up lines too, and “love/dating phrases and words” it was fun. Oh, one pick-up line is this: “Are you tired? Because you have been running through my mind all day.” The teacher was explaining it and one girl (who is actually really cute) said yeah I’m tired, and so I started laughing and so the teacher explained it and the girl thought it was funny too. Everyone did after the explanation.

So that is about it for today. Até semana que vem Abraço

I am Elder Richardson, Keymaster in Votuporanga and I end mine epistle, amen.

drinking out of a coconut


Me and E. Bernards--he went home today! He was so done.

Our Zone: Front E. Nascimento, E. Melo (Cortopraza missão - Temporary Mission), E. Macedo, E. Lopes Back E. B. Anderson, Me, E. Camilo (Mat Snarr knows him as E. F. Silva, shared the same room in the CTM, E. Camilo is my District Leader and looked at my pictures and almost snapped when he saw Mat (Mat is a lifelong friend from Tooele who is serving in the Recife Brazil mission)), E. Bernards, E. Lund, E. Sória, and if you look closely behind Bernards and Lund you see E. Johnson and E. Wesley.


Hello, Hello, Hello!!

You know wearing a backpack all day with your missionary clothes feels like a really weak midget trying to bring you down all day, and just having a collar feels like a really weak guy trying to choke you all day.

I have information for you guys but it’s nothing important just something about a ring and the end of the world, just don’t turn me into anything.....unnatural....
Ok this last week was nuts, we didn’t do much but we saw Michael Jackson, ok a dude dressed like him and he was dancing! Then we saw some cartoons/children’s books of the Bible at a bookstore, they were pretty funny. There was even a pop-up book about the Nativity.

Ok, it is true about bars having one girl and 20 guys! The only way to get guaraná on the go is visit a bar, you only need to be 18 to go in and half of the bars are bakeries as well.

Oh here they have pay phones still and sometimes they ring, so I thought of Kramer when he had almost the same phone number as a movie theater. I thought of the Missão Brasil Ribeirão Preto hotline! Press one for a visit of our representatives, press two for a free pamphlet, press three for a free book, why don’t you just tell me what you want? And I actually answered the phone and ALMOST got the lady's address on the other side but she said to call back, but I don’t have the number so it’s ok.

So this next week will be different, same area, same comp, everything, but we are going to work now! I wrote out some rules and made my comp sign them, like no sleeping during the day, you have to make 15 contacts at least per day etc. I even told him I would be senior comp if that’s what it takes. (Go Taylor!)

Me and Sória in Normal clothes when we got a haircut

We went to the Napoli pizzeria and had, of course, pizza!
(No, this doesn't look like pizza Taylor's mom had in Napoli, but that's okay. It still looks good!)

3 Nephi 5:13 “Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life.” Yeah that’s me.

Hey I have another announcement NEW ADDRESS FOR THE MISSION!!!!!!! Write this on my letters now:

Elder Taylor Cotton Richardson
Missão Brasil Ribeirão Preto
Rua São Sebastião 1003 Centro
Ribeirão Preto SP
Brasil 14015-040

Ok that’s about it just remember you gotta make room for the TUNA!!!!! (For Invader Zim fans.)

Abraço—I am Elder Richardson, Missionary of 6 months currently in Votuporanga, Master Contactor, Speaker of English and I end mine epistle, Amen

Note from the Missionary Mom:

Taylor has had some hard weeks with a companion who didn’t want to work very much. I know he was hoping that one of them would be transferred, but that isn’t what happened. I was really happy when Taylor’s comment to me was “the Lord knows best.” I was glad that he seems to have such a great attitude about it all, and my suggestion to him was to be the example, make sure he follows the rules and then get out and work; take charge if necessary. I know his companion will catch the spirit of the work--perhaps he’s never had anyone show him how to be a good missionary before. Taylor responded by quoting the following scripture to me. I think he has this same kind of faith. He is full of life, enthusiasm for missionary work and love for the Brasilian people. What more could he need? I guess just a companion with the same vision. I’m anxious to see what the next few weeks bring.

Alma 57: 20-27
20 And as the remainder of our army were about to give way before the Lamanites, behold, those two thousand and sixty were firm and undaunted.

21 Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them.

***

26 And now, their preservation was astonishing to our whole army, yea, that they should be spared while there was a thousand of our brethren who were slain. And we do justly ascribe it to the miraculous power of God, because of their exceeding faith in that which they had been taught to believe—that there was a just God, and whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power.

27 Now this was the faith of these of whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually.

I'm sure Taylor was thrilled when he saw this--for all of you who really know him--he loves the Ramones! You don't think he had a can of spray paint do you???

We have a piper down, I repeat a piper is DOWN!

Hey this last week was again uneventful, you know why? I didn't do anything.... I can´t help it.....it’s my comp. Oh well only one more week!

So I´ll apologize, I´m sorry I don´t have anything interesting to say. I did get a flag of my futébol time! São Paulo!

We saw a car show this last week and a huge Catholic church service.

Wow--the little brothers would love this one!

The favorite?? Perhaps.

We walked a lot, I worked. I just talked to a lot of people, and got told off plenty of times.

You guys need to try Pineapple with cinnamon, it’s super good! Hey my address will change soon, but when I have the new one I´ll let you know!

Just remember Eu sou Batman, que Eu faço, Eu levo coisas na minha cinta, porque Eu sou BATMAN! (I am Batman, I carry things in my belt because I am Batman!) Sometimes you need your own Little Wooden Boy!

Guys I’m sorry again! More will come next transfer!

Oompa loompa doopadee dawesome; Dwight is now gone and that’s totally awesome! Why is he gone, he was such a nice guy! No he was not he was a total douche. Oompa loompa doopadee do! (Reference to "The Office.")

Até mais
Abraço

I am Elder Richardson and I end mine epistle, amen

The moon is made of cheese........
E AI USA!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys what’s up?

Not too much is going on here, it’s a sleepy city....

Favorite drink, Guarana

I found out that Halls (cough drops) are candy here.... talk about abuse of medicines..... some people’s kids.....

Ok I found this chiclet called Baba de Bruxa, which is Drool of the Witch, and Cabeça de Abóbora, which is PUMPKINHEAD!!!!!! For those of you who know what the signifcance of that is, LAUGH!

Ok I’m going to tell you something I miss: I miss being able to put my clothes in a magic box with magic powder and push a button and poof my clothes are clean, then you put them in another magic box and push a button and poof they are dry and ready to use!!!!!

I went to an English school and the teacher thought I didn’t speak Português, but I do speak a lot for 6 months, (well that’s what everyone says) I don’t think so...... anyway, she started speaking in English with me and I naturally responded in Português, and she was like wait you speak Portugês? And I said, yeah, I have 6 months here.... But it was way cool, her students are more advanced, they asked me questions in English and I responded. It was cool then I talked to a newer class and they thought it was way cool.

Here's a picture for my dad. . .

But yeah that’s about it. I don’t remember much else, we kinda worked, we had conference, my mission president is way cool!

I’m super happy and I hope you are too! I love you guys!

Abraço com amor,

Elder Richardson

P.S. I am Elder Richardson, Master of Awesomeness, Speaker of English, Hero of Casmo the English School, Only American in Votuporanga, Comp of Elder Sória and I end mine epistle, Amen.




Any guesses what this is? Think of Taylor, you'll see it. . .